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1. Post often and verbosely. This is the most important rule. At least 40 posts / 3 threads a day with a minimum of thought put into each post.
2. Be friendly, interesting, entertaining and non-controversial. If you have to post drama, make sure you're well within the majority's opinion on the matter. If you can't be interesting and entertaining, forget about it, you'll never graduate from sigwhore to boardwhore.
3. Brand yourself like a muthafucker. Off-the-board street cred translates big time in el virtualaso and is essential.
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