5. Ever fucked a midget? Ever fought a midget?
Answer: No and no. I did, however, seriously think about hitting a midget once. It was '92 and we had just pulled into Dubai (in the United Arab Emiretes). We'd been out for many months and hadn't seen a real-live female in what felt like YEARS! So we pulled in and disembarked, heading to the nearest bar. As is too often the case there were hundreds of us in 1 bar (a true sausage fest) and up at the bar, among the sea of guys, was 1 single, solitary blonde girl. Naturally all of us were inching our way up there to get a look at her (it's like that when you've had no action for a long time). I finally got up there and there she was... All 3 feet of her. She was female = that's GREAT!, blonde = that's cool, cute = anything is cute after that long, but she was a true midget. So I looked at her and thought about it. Then I looked around a little bit (at the competition in the hundreds). Looked at ther again. Then I said no. I left and got smashed. That experience did teach me one vaulable lesson - if I ever come back as a female midget, go overseas and hang out at bars on base - you'd have your pick of the litter!
