13. Talk about your drinking days and why you quit?
oh... nights through all the teenage years, drunk most the time,
fighting, fucking, or a combination of them all. drinking before
a show, drinking at the park or down by the beach. waiting
until the front door of the bar closed, or back at someone?s
house, high school keggers.
one way or the other, i found myself drunk most nights night of
the week. teenage rebel years right? its what you do.
on the other side of things, i skipped college for the most because
i didnt want the party to stop, i blacked out on more nights than
not, fighting in the middle of the week, ending up in the hospital
more times than i can count. pissing shitting and vomiting every
which way that i turned. it started to become not so sexy and a
little more of a problem really.
most the behavior kept going the same way. at one time i was
living in a house full of drunks, four guys in a one bedroom
apartment, drinking in the middle of every day. walking up and
needing a drink to stop a little shaking from the night before,
and my health was starting to get a little weird. i was working
at bars doing shows, it was ok that i was a drunk, it was the
lifestyle at the time for me. rock and roll, drugs, and booze.
some of the guys that i had run into around town, coffee shops
and clubs, would help me with promotional stuff in exchange
for guest list spots and such. i would go out with them to different
clubs and shows promoting what we were doing, flirting with
girls, having a good time, and i dont think that i ever noticed,
but none of them drank at all. i was drunk, but they were not.
at one point, one of the guys asked me if i thought that the way
that i was living was a problem. at the time i think that i was
about 125 pounds (im 175 right now) whiter than i was right
now, and i would get nose bleeds constantly. i was starting to
think that it was a problem.
i decided to get on the wagon and try it all out dry instead of
loaded. i would go two or three days at the most without
drinking and then i would end up on a bender and try to start
all over again. at one point i finally was able to give it up.
i changed my entire lifestyle. i moved into a house with a
group of guys that did not drink. i gave up the bar job and
just focused on the larger club, and not too much time past that
i made the move to texas so i could fully shut the door on what
i thought was a life that was perfect and turned out to be something
so incredibly demoralizing i didnt even really know who i was.
i have not had a drink since that time, since that day. shortly after
that is when i gave up eatting meat, started reading some political
books, and really spent that time reinventing who i thought that
i was.
__________________
-sean
skype: sean.a.christian
sean @ revolutionforce.com
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