This cracked me the fuck up.
******
Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen has encountered legal trouble for, among other things, allegedly driving without clothes.
According to a report in Wednesday's Detroit Free Press, Cullen, who was hired by first-year head coach Rod Marinelli to coach the team's defensive line, has been arrested twice in the past two weeks.
The first arrest, on Aug. 24, was for alleged indecent and obscene conduct. The second, on Sept. 1, was for alleged drunk driving. Both occurred in Dearborn, MI.
Cullen did not respond to a Free Press reporter's request for a comment, but later issued a statement through the team. "I would like to apologize to the Detroit Lions organization, our fans, my family and friends for any embarrassment these incidents have caused. These incidents represent a mistake in judgment on my part. I deeply regret them and have learned a valuable lesson. It won't happen again."
In the nude-driving incident, the description on the police ticket read "driving on a public street without any clothes on. (NUDE)." In the drunk-driving incident, Cullen's blood-alcohol level was reportedly 0.12, above the Michigan legal limit of .08.
Cullen has coached at the collegiate level at Illinois, Indiana, Memphis, Mississippi, Richmond, Louisiana State, and Massachusetts. He was fired from the Mississippi gig after an alcohol-related incident at a restaurant.
"We are obviously very disappointed," said Lions president Matt Millen. "These are very serious matters that will be handled sternly and appropriately by our organization. Coach Cullen requested immediate help in seeking treatment. That assistance has been provided and a comprehensive, private program has been established for him."
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5941726?FSO1&ATT=HMA