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American patent law is a complete mess.
I got this email tonight...
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"......Suem, Skruem and Chargem LLC owns a portfolio of patents dating back to the time of the primordial sea and the beginning of life covering various segments of the human genome including those determined to be key influence factors in human intelligence and entrepreneurial spirit. It has recently come to our attention that you are a successful webmaster and businessman, and therefore no doubt utilizing technology covered by our patents. Our patents include U.S. patent Nos. 5,212,212; 5,864,344; 7,220,185; and an open continuation (evolution, you know).
Suem, Skruem and Chargem develops patents covering the human genome, and we have significant experience in licensing these technologies and enforcing patents. We request that you immediately contact your patent lawyer (and doctor) and examine your current and future genetic capabilities relative to this patent portfolio. Suem, Skruem and Chargem is prepared to license these patents on reasonable terms to you based on Schedule 1 attached, and we would like to schedule a meeting with you to discuss a license. I look forward to your prompt reply.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Juan Beeg Goke
ps. Are your eyes blue by chance? We own that one too.
Schedule 1:
Royalties based on your IQ
up to 100; owe nothing
100 to 120; owe $1,500 per annum
121 to 140; owe $3,000 per annum
140 to 170; owe $5,000 per annum
170+; owe $10,000 per annum
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