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To be fair, it's not really the hosts fault you got hacked unless it was done through a hole in the OS/Kernel.
I would argue it's the customers responsibility to ensure any scripts on their sites are up to date, as would many hosting companies both adult and mainstream. Certainly there are hosts who will take care of things like that but for the price point many adult webmasters are looking for it's simply not realistic to expect your host to keep your scripts up to date for you unless you are paying a premium.
Having said that, once something has been exploited it's my opinion that it's the host's responsibility to find the cause of the problem and correct it if you are unable to do so on your own. There's a plethora of tools and methods out there to combat these exploits as well as remove them from your server.
Any host who values their clients, as well as the integrity of their client's sites should do whatever they can to assist you in getting the issue resolved. If they refuse, there are hosting companies out there who would be happy to take care of you.
There are many things the average webmaster can do to make sure things like this are unlikely to happen. Scripts are not Ronco Rotisseries. You can't just "set it and forget it" with a script. Many popular scripts have older versions with giant-gaping-goatse-like holes in them that do not exist in current versions. You should check weekly (At the very least monthly) for updates to your scripts, and if there are updates update them immediately
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