munki

A few thoughts my cousin had... had to share them with the world

So scientists have discovered that all the pollution in the Potomac river has caused a bunch of male bass fish to develop eggs. It also causes huge lesions on the fish but let's just stick to mutating genitals for arguments sake. Politicians and other important persons assure the Northern Virgina and DC area (whose water this river supplies) that we as humans are safe. "THEY" don't know the cause but are positive that we are fine.
Reason 1: We are bigger than fish.
Reason 2: We don't swim in water all day.
Reason 3: The water we drink is filtered.

This begs the questions
A. What the fk?
B. Who are they?
C. Who are the ad wizards that elected these tard farmers?

Obviously I'm not a golfer but it seems pretty obvious to me that even though reasons 1 and 2 are true we are some 95% water (Reader - insert cleverly worded waterhead comment here). Even though we don't swim in polluted water all day we certainly drink it and retain it. Eih?
Reason 3 we can just throw right out. Have you ever met a politician? I wouldn't trust one telling me his age while in a Lebanese nutsack torture device. And the average American who runs and operates said filtration plant? - well I have met them and I am not impressed. People that are impressed by git-r-dun or spinny rims have no business filtering water. Chasing shiny flashing objects should be reserved for the poor hermaphrodite fish that have no choice but to choke on our waste and like it. Plus the EPA hasn't even set standards yet for most of the suspected chemicals, so the plants don't even check for them ? sweet!

But I have accepted that our entire countries government and myself are drinking death water. I mean I'm not one to complain about minor stuff like mutations and I know brittas are pretty badass but I like my non egg bearing body just the way it is. Is it too much to ask for my "Pursuit of Happiness" to not contain chemicals that develop ovaries in men?

One last fact to brighten your day as you slowly mutate:
Did you know that the government buy and stores powdered milk in manmade caves in Kansas City? Well they do.. to prop up dairy farmers price and they spend over $20 million a year to store it. 20 MILLION - are you serious? For powdered milk? How much DC water have these drooling donkeys been drinking? 20 Mil - for cave powdered milk and we can't get a little non poison water?

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