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I assumed a hosting company supporting a bandwidth heavy adult site would have these things as default
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Why would a hosting company offer you something that would limit the ammount of bandwidth they could sell to you? IMO it's your responsibility as a webmaster to purchase software (Pennywise, Proxy-Pass, etc) to protect your members area. I'm sure most hosts offer assistance setting things like that up, but I fail to grasp your assumption. However, you might be surprised what some hosts will do for you are really "bandwidth heavy", which I will assume means over 20mbit/s.