Pleasurepays

i firmly believe that we are all driven by and shaped as people by our negative traits. we can always rationalize out behavior and convince ourselves thats not true but the brutal truth is that we are all the absolute best liar we know. we lie to ourselves about everything so that we can maintain our own internal balance, positive sense of self, self image and rationalize our behaviors.

i believe that the trick to becoming a more rounded, balanced and content person in life is to understand how to detect your own lies and directly confront them head on and to begin deal with them in a open, honest and real way... this simply cannot happen if you continually find yourself looking outward for "answers"... or finding others to blame for everything that you feel is hurting you. you are in charge of you. your life is the end result of who and what you are and the decisions you make.

religion is fine. but religion itself will not make one a happier, healthier and more well adjusted person. its a pacifier. its a powerful sedative in the form of convienent answers designed with one purpose and honed over several millinea to comfort the individual. it seems that religion in a case like yours, is just simply an easy out that tells you "if i just to xzy... everything will go away", to limit the damage to your over inflated ego which seems to have trouble with the lack of control you feel in your life... and you are in a desperate emotional state where you are all too willing to listen to that message.

you are god. true happiness in life can be found only within yourself. its a gift that only you can give yourself. its not something that someone else or something else can give you or do to you. it can't be found in a book or a church. proof of this is your behavior and actions.... both of which, you realize are very wrong and contradictory to what you claim to believe.