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jokes.....
A drunk man who smelled like beer satdown on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. after a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father,what causes arthritis?"
"My son, its caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, i'll be damned, " the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didnt mean to come on so strong.How long have you had an arthritis?"
"I dont have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does".
One day down by a river, a preacher had just baptized a young lady. A few minutes later, a drunk, non religious man walked by the river.
The preacher said to him," Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk said yes.
The preacher got him in the water, dipped him in and then raised him back up. He said, " Have you found Jesus?"
The drunk said no.
The preacher again dipped him in and raised him back up. The preacher said," Have you found Jesus?"
The drunk again said no.
The preacher dipped him and raised him up for the third time. He said," Have you found Jesus?"
The drunk said," Are you sure he fell in here?"
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