Well... shit. I just went to Electronic City and they said I'd fry a 1K potentiometer. So I showed him my post-it note (from Rowan's post) and he agreed I'd need a 5 watt potentiometer. He said he didn't carry anything that big.
Jeses, it must look like a dimmer switch from a wall outlet.
Either way... now I'm on a fucking mission. GET A DIMMER!!!
When he saw I had "40 whites" in the light he went "40 whites? WHOA!" LOL.