RedShoe

Go to an ABC store. Right up near the cash registers (an impulse buy) you'll find, "maui babe" sun tan oil*.

It has got to be Maui's best kept secret hoax on the tourists. One of my first trips, I went and got a bottle. Mrs. RedShoe laughed her ass off at me the whole time I was buying it. She said it was shit, and it wouldn't work.

I thought, "Maui Babe"... with a name like that it's gotta make me nice and tan. Sure enough, I got to the beach and applied it. Just like the bottle sid, it was indeed, an oil. My guess it that it's just a bunch of food mixed in with a lot of olive oil. Pineapples, coconut milk, guava, mangos, all liquified and added to olive oil.

It stank, and was very oily. After a while it turned a little sticky. It was disgusting. After a short while I was burnt beyond belief. I ended up with sun poisoning. My body was beyond red and was now a purplish magenta color. I was in bed in agonizing pain for about 3 days. A breeze felt like a flame thrower. It makes you ill, and nothing... nothing helps.



MAUI BABE ROCKS!!!



* note - it's not a lotion, it's an oil.

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