So I have been on my death bed with a horrible case of the Flu. I want to die, really, but my distributor crawled up my ass to shoot a movie before I head back to the states so duty called and that's what I did today. Ugh.
I'm sitting in Subway (Pattaya, Thailand), still sick, 4am, after the shoot with 2 mini DVs in my pocket and my SD card full of hardcore and pretty girl pics. In walks these 2 drunk pieces of Euro trash and right away started at me.
"Why does you shirt say Wanker on it?"
"It says Angkor. It's in Cambodia, maybe you've heard of it?"
"Wanker"
"OK, wanker it is. Enjoy your food."
I turn to ignore him.
Then he touches the back of my shirt to point out it says W-A-N-K-E-R.
My right hand tightens and I immediately check out the surroundings and his drunk friend. If I have to act, how will I do it. I start to plan just in case, and also plan my escape because if the cops are called and they find my porn, I'm going to jail for much worse than beating the shit out of these two drunks. I do not fear violence and I am not afraid to fight or even seriously wound if need be, I only fear getting caught.
Fighting in Thailand is not pretty and I know that either I am going to do serious harm to them, with anything I can do it with, or they are going to kick my ass and I'm not feeling like taking an ass whipping right now. I also don't feel like going to jail, so be cool DWB, be cool. "Jai yen" (cool heart) the Thais would say.
So this banter goes bank and forth, he buddy chimes and and asks if I was American. I said yes, and he goes on to tell his drunk buddy that "all Americans go to wanker, and wank. That's what Americans do."
He then pulls out his cock and is walking around Subway, chasing his buddy with it. I think about grabbing the knife and cutting of his cock and running out the door. I digress and continue reading the paper while every now and then keeping an eye on these tools.
They get their food and pay. A baht (a Thai coin) comes flying at my table and bounces off. One guys comes over and apologizes for his friend doing that. At this point I was a second away from punching him right in the throat and then lounging at his friend to do the same. I waiting just a second longer because a Thai jail was the last place I wanted to be tonight.
Thank God they walked out at that point, and thank God I waited 1 more second. They did not get their fight. At least, not with me.
Fucking drunks. Why can't people get drunk and have a good time? Cop a buzz and enjoy it. No need to be an ass. These two clowns have no idea how close to serious injury they were tonight, or how close we all were to going to jail. And over what?
I hope they catch AIDS while they're here.
