GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Contest: Win Thousands in Cash for the best Phoenix Forum Story

Azlord · 03-14-2007, 06:45 PM

So...here's the ending first, like Mr. Tarentino (sp?)

The Phx forum golf tournament is coming up right? I will enter the story on how I ended up in the lake, Raj in the driver seat and our golf clubs at the bottom of the lake.

Let me also preface the story with how the golf tourney ended the year before last. I brought some of our models to the course. The lovely Spring Thomas and Sophia. Well, they are booze hounds, ended up drinking too much, hitting one of the boys from MobBucks with their cart. The bad part was, he (I think Mike) was standing behind his cart, so he got sandwiched between 2 carts. Knocked off the course and sent to the ER. So then Sophia and Spring are in the bar and one of the guys from UltraDNS (Jon) is giving Sophia a hard time. Sophia decides it would be a good idea to cause a huge scene and get thrown off the course. Her and Spring both booted. They needed a ride back to the hotel, so one of the greens keepers was nice enough to give us all a ride back.

So Fast FWD a year to last year...

I signed up by myself that year because my brother Billy Watson punked out on me, so I'm flying solo. I have no idea who I am going to be paired up with. So I show up, take the bus to the course, and find out who I got grouped with. It was Poppy, and Mike (from Vivid) in one cart and Raj and me in another cart. We start on hole 2 and will end the day on hole 1.

Well, we are starting to get to know each other, having a good time. Nothing too crazy, a few beers here and there. Teasing the cart girl a little. Just having a good time.

We come to the 16th or 17th hole. Let me explain this hole a little bit,you tee off about 40-50 ft higher than the pin. It's only a par 3, and it's the silvercash 50k hole in one contest. We pull up and see Chris from FTVGirls hanging out in his cart. He had a lil' to drink and we were chatting and hanging out. I go to tee off and he tells me that if I hit this hole in one, he will match the 50k from SilverCash and he prolly really would have. So I laugh, pull out my 8 iron and tee off.

It's headed dead straight to the pin. Drops about 18 feet short and starts rolling. Now Chris and the people there are screaming, cause it looks good. It's rolling to the pin, but stops short by about 10 ft. Chris starts throwing golf balls at me telling me to do it again, and again and again. I hit 3 more and of course I never come as close.

So Mike, Poppy, Raj and I finish out the day. We are the last ones on the course. Everyone is up in the club house getting ready for the dinner to start. Raj and I are driving towards the clubhouse. We see the Park Ranger riding on the path towards us (he's going to call us in for the day). We give him the friendly wave, he stops his cart and puts it in reverse. We keep heading towards him...
---Now this was all in slow motion---
Raj is heading towards the ranger, the ranger is in reverse and by the look on his face, he's having fun with us. Like some sort of reverse chicken game or something. He's laughing, we're laughing as we head towards him. Now, I don't know if Raj realized this, but we were going much faster forwards than the ranger was going backwards. Now the happy face on the ranger turns into panic. Raj starts to panic too... why not hit the brake? Who knows? Raj tries to pass the ranger on the left, but notices that the cart path is too narrow and there is a lake to the left so he over corrects to the right, we hit the ranger's cart. We don't hit it head on, the front passenger wheel (where I am) hits the passenger side wheel well of the park ranger. We drive over it and Raj tries to cut left again. So we basically ramp the ranger's wheel well and the cart is on two wheels, heading left towards the lake.

There is a 2 foot drop from the grass and the water. We're on 2 wheels still, and drop off the side of the grass into the lake. The cart lands sideways, half of the fucking cart is underwater. We are fucking freaked out. I look over cause I am scared Raj is pinned under the cart and drowning or some shit. He wasn't thank god. All I hear is Poppy and Mike dying with laughter. Non-stop laughing. I'm sorta pissed for a minute, then I lighten up.

Raj had his phone and wallet on the dash of the cart. It was never seen again. Good thing he has his passport in his hotel room. Next thing I know, we are fishing out the clubs and our other shit that was in the back of the cart. Hats, shoes, and anything else that wasn't attached to the cart. At this point word must have gotten back to the club house. JFK comes up with his camera and starts snapping pics... fun times. My BlackBerry stops working. I'm a lil bummed, but Raj said he would buy me a new one. It dried out and started working again, so he didn't need to.
Some security guys from the course came and interviewed us, then they interview the beer cart girl. They thought we were wasted or something. But we weren't. We head up to the dinner sopping wet and get couple of drinks and tell the story about 100 times. During the raffle, I win a new golf bag. Pretty fun considering mine was ruined LOL.

NOW Fast Forward to about 3 months ago. I am looking through the FUBAR magazine, and I come to an ad. It's for SexSearch. The ad showcases the pics from this story. Set up like a comic book, with a "water color" photo shop filter on it for adding humor. Yup, there's me, Raja, and Poppy all in this ad. Me and Raj in the water with funny cartoon bubble captions added. blah blah blah

2 years in a row, something fucked happens to me at this tournament. Wonder WTF is going to happen this year.

03-14-2007, 06:45 PM
Azlord Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: City... City of Satan Posts: 2,651	So...here's the ending first, like Mr. Tarentino (sp?) The Phx forum golf tournament is coming up right? I will enter the story on how I ended up in the lake, Raj in the driver seat and our golf clubs at the bottom of the lake. Let me also preface the story with how the golf tourney ended the year before last. I brought some of our models to the course. The lovely Spring Thomas and Sophia. Well, they are booze hounds, ended up drinking too much, hitting one of the boys from MobBucks with their cart. The bad part was, he (I think Mike) was standing behind his cart, so he got sandwiched between 2 carts. Knocked off the course and sent to the ER. So then Sophia and Spring are in the bar and one of the guys from UltraDNS (Jon) is giving Sophia a hard time. Sophia decides it would be a good idea to cause a huge scene and get thrown off the course. Her and Spring both booted. They needed a ride back to the hotel, so one of the greens keepers was nice enough to give us all a ride back. So Fast FWD a year to last year... I signed up by myself that year because my brother Billy Watson punked out on me, so I'm flying solo. I have no idea who I am going to be paired up with. So I show up, take the bus to the course, and find out who I got grouped with. It was Poppy, and Mike (from Vivid) in one cart and Raj and me in another cart. We start on hole 2 and will end the day on hole 1. Well, we are starting to get to know each other, having a good time. Nothing too crazy, a few beers here and there. Teasing the cart girl a little. Just having a good time. We come to the 16th or 17th hole. Let me explain this hole a little bit,you tee off about 40-50 ft higher than the pin. It's only a par 3, and it's the silvercash 50k hole in one contest. We pull up and see Chris from FTVGirls hanging out in his cart. He had a lil' to drink and we were chatting and hanging out. I go to tee off and he tells me that if I hit this hole in one, he will match the 50k from SilverCash and he prolly really would have. So I laugh, pull out my 8 iron and tee off. It's headed dead straight to the pin. Drops about 18 feet short and starts rolling. Now Chris and the people there are screaming, cause it looks good. It's rolling to the pin, but stops short by about 10 ft. Chris starts throwing golf balls at me telling me to do it again, and again and again. I hit 3 more and of course I never come as close. So Mike, Poppy, Raj and I finish out the day. We are the last ones on the course. Everyone is up in the club house getting ready for the dinner to start. Raj and I are driving towards the clubhouse. We see the Park Ranger riding on the path towards us (he's going to call us in for the day). We give him the friendly wave, he stops his cart and puts it in reverse. We keep heading towards him... ---Now this was all in slow motion--- Raj is heading towards the ranger, the ranger is in reverse and by the look on his face, he's having fun with us. Like some sort of reverse chicken game or something. He's laughing, we're laughing as we head towards him. Now, I don't know if Raj realized this, but we were going much faster forwards than the ranger was going backwards. Now the happy face on the ranger turns into panic. Raj starts to panic too... why not hit the brake? Who knows? Raj tries to pass the ranger on the left, but notices that the cart path is too narrow and there is a lake to the left so he over corrects to the right, we hit the ranger's cart. We don't hit it head on, the front passenger wheel (where I am) hits the passenger side wheel well of the park ranger. We drive over it and Raj tries to cut left again. So we basically ramp the ranger's wheel well and the cart is on two wheels, heading left towards the lake. There is a 2 foot drop from the grass and the water. We're on 2 wheels still, and drop off the side of the grass into the lake. The cart lands sideways, half of the fucking cart is underwater. We are fucking freaked out. I look over cause I am scared Raj is pinned under the cart and drowning or some shit. He wasn't thank god. All I hear is Poppy and Mike dying with laughter. Non-stop laughing. I'm sorta pissed for a minute, then I lighten up. Raj had his phone and wallet on the dash of the cart. It was never seen again. Good thing he has his passport in his hotel room. Next thing I know, we are fishing out the clubs and our other shit that was in the back of the cart. Hats, shoes, and anything else that wasn't attached to the cart. At this point word must have gotten back to the club house. JFK comes up with his camera and starts snapping pics... fun times. My BlackBerry stops working. I'm a lil bummed, but Raj said he would buy me a new one. It dried out and started working again, so he didn't need to. Some security guys from the course came and interviewed us, then they interview the beer cart girl. They thought we were wasted or something. But we weren't. We head up to the dinner sopping wet and get couple of drinks and tell the story about 100 times. During the raffle, I win a new golf bag. Pretty fun considering mine was ruined LOL. NOW Fast Forward to about 3 months ago. I am looking through the FUBAR magazine, and I come to an ad. It's for SexSearch. The ad showcases the pics from this story. Set up like a comic book, with a "water color" photo shop filter on it for adding humor. Yup, there's me, Raja, and Poppy all in this ad. Me and Raj in the water with funny cartoon bubble captions added. blah blah blah 2 years in a row, something fucked happens to me at this tournament. Wonder WTF is going to happen this year.