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vbulletin is good
i find it pretty hard to skin it, but if you start from a basic skin and work from there it will be alright ;)
for banner rotators and stuff check out vbulletin.org, loads of stuff there you can add to your forum
avatars, smilies are included, but you can always add more or even just disable it
if you enable email verification the script will send the person who registered at your forum a mail with a link they need to click before his account gets activated
you'll probably end up on vbulletin.org pretty fast to install extras, just don't get crazy and install everything you think will be cool for your forum
some of those add-ons are pretty bad written and will put alot of load on your server, some don't work good together and fuck everything up, and when you plan to upgrade your forum to a new version some will no longer work etc etc
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Spank me 
Dude, where's my traffic?
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