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I don't think there is a program that will do all of that and batch.
The capture from DV or VHS is in the card you buy. MY Canopus will cap from Fire wire, RGB and S-Video The software that come with the DVstorm will let you cut up the video in what ever size you want. you could automate the cutting by using the batch capture and setting it to cap 2 minute clips. then set up a batch for 5 minute clips.
You could turn them all into Mpeg and use a Mpeg cutter batch to cut them into 2 and 5 minute clips but them you could get cuts in the middle of scenes that you don't want cut up.
Cleaner will batch process the clips, add a watermark (though I can't get that to work yet..), and add actions to frames. (URLs, call new movie)
Bottom line is this, Video editing takes a long time. no mater what, even with batch processes.
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