Simmer down, when you aren't upset try to talk about it calmly. Put it in phrases like 'It makes me feel like driving a screwdriver into my eyesocket when you leave your used qtips in the sink' or 'I would appreciate it if you were more careful in your tone when you ask me to do things, you know be nice not a fucking cunt'
And remember to never fight after either of you have been drinking, reasoning is impossible and it's too easy to lose control.