RedShoe

So DirtyWhiteBoy were up late working and agreed we needed a break so we went to the 3:15 AM showing of Pirates at the El Capitan theatre in Hollywood.

I live in the valley and so I forget how fuckign weird Hollywood is. At 3:15 AM! a guy shows up in FULL DAVY JONES gear. I'm not talking like an octopus hat and a heavy coat. I mean like full on facial prosthetic with big slimey tenticles. He even had a claw arm. I mean this guy went ALL OUT. Trust me.. I know this guy put some serious time into it. The ONLY thing different about this guys costume was the tenticles weren't animated. That's it.

So, we're waiting in line and so was Davy Jones and 3 black guys came up to him and were all screaming and yelling at the Davy Jones look-a-like. "WHOA SHIT NIGGA! YOU MY NIGGA! CAN YOU MAKE ME ONE NIGGA!" "Yo look at this thing. It's as long as my dick FOR REAL! CAN YOU MAKE ME ONE NIGGA"

DWB was just as into it as the black guys. It was definitly an impressive costume. So we paid our $24.00.... YES!!!!!!!!! $Twenty Four Fucking Dollars for the V.I.P. Seats. We go in and get ushered to our seats that were.. get this.. one seat away from the $12.00 seats! FUCK YEAH! Gotta love the El Cap.

Now then the movie was great. I enjoyed it, and it did for me what I needed. I needed to get away for a while and just enjoy a movie and not think about work. Mission accomplished.

But this post isn't about the movie or the Davy Jones look-a-like... It's about what happened AFTER the movie.

DWB and I were walking back to our car which was parked around back of the theatre and we see this guy standing across the street. Now remember it's like 6:15 and there is NO ONE else around. Hollywood had that light blue overcast feel, there were no cars, no people. Just us and that guy.

The air was quiet, and we both looked at him just standing there. He wasa young man, maybe early 20's and he was dressed in white pants, and a very light blue, almost white button up shirt. What caught our eye was the fact that he looked weak in the knees. I thought he was looking at us, but he was across the street so it was hard to tell.

Now, the other thing that caught my eye was SHIT STAINS that were all over his pants. It looked like this guy had been pissing and shitting all over himself for the past several hours.

Naturally we HAD TO STOP AND WATCH! Now were just standing on one corner, him on the other and he sits down in his own shit and just rocks back and forth. He almost passed out several times and once almost took a header right to the Hollywood walk of fame.

In the few minutes we were standing on the corner, a green laborghini and a Bently passed by... at 6:30 AM!

This dude is DEFINITELY fucked up on something and from his balance, he's been down this road before. So what does DWB decide to do? "Let's go sit next to him" he says. "Yeah sure what else are we doing" I say.

We crossed the street and as we get closer we realize, it's not shit stains... it's BLOOD! This guy is sitting in what can only be described as crime scene evidence. So we watched for a few more minutes then left.

Why the fuck do we NEVER have a camera when we need one!! The guy is either dead or sober by now, so it's too late to go back.

Gotta love Hollywood.

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