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Hm, could it be that their spouses feel they have to be dishonest about it because their significant others have unreasonable, psychotic reactions to it?
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I think that is exactly the problem.
A family member got all freaked out that her husband was wackin off to penthouse mags 2-3 times a week when she wouldnt put out.
We asked her why she didnt just fuck him more and she said "eww gross".
So you wont put out but you'll chastise and threaten your husband for wanting normal sexual gratification?
IMHO most of the SA people come from households that are either laden with abuse or from a household like i just described.