Far-L

13. Have you ever humped a statue while buck ass naked on camera?

Ok... before my wonderful employees who will probably all be sacked and rehired so I can sack them again before this thread is through tell any more stories about me I will segue into how I got captured on video humping a statue. Actually I think it was more than one.

After seeing me act in a couple of videos a guy named Tony Lovett (great guy who now works at AVN) decided he wanted to write a porn script featuring me as the main character and his hook for it was essentially to create a porn of "The Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Suess. I was to play the mischevious cat-like character "Mr. Fun".

The guy who was directing it saw right away what a good little content monkey I was and knew that whatever tune he played I would do the hully gully neat and quick. And that bastard had a pretty twisted mind. The shoot was mostly staged at some fancy house up at the top of Mulholland. The first clue I had that things were going to get pretty weird was when the director asked me to rub my dick over the home owner's silverware.

A few hours later I had to dance around a pool with my strange plaid pants around my ankles humping statues.

But I knew that I was really screwed when that pervert wanted me to go down on a starlet while some other guy did the watusi on her butthole.

"Um.... I am not exactly comfortable with that." I protested.

"We need it for the euro version." The director explained.

"I... I... ummm... I...don't... umm..."

"You want to get paid right?"

Two things happened that day. One I realized I am not gay but any double penetration scene with two guys and a girl is pretty frigging bi no matter how you slice it and I might as well accept that and get the fuck over it. Next I realized that it was way better to be the one telling people what to do in their porn scene than being a content monkey that has to do the dance when the organ starts to grind.

__________________