Well turns out because I don't have enough GFY posts I can't post all my awesome evil pictures. Don't worry, Farrell, Jact is going to post them for me
So instead let me tell you all about one of my more unique jobs here at Homegrown.
When I first started, I was given the job of writing press releases and getting the word out on how awesome Homegrown is, since that is what I was going to college to do.
Well this company is a very easy sell to both adult and mainstream media, and soon we had a lot of great press opportunities.
Now we all know that Farrell is very social and charming and has no problem talking to anyone, especially about his favorite subject: Porn and why Homegrown Video rocks.
However, when it came to some of our bigger, more mainstream press opportunities such as programs on HBO or MTV, like all people, Farrell would get a bit nervous in his interviews, as of course he wanted them to go as great as possible. And of course, nerves and hot lights can lead to sweating.
Now, most people sweat from their hair line, or their upper lip, or their armpits. Superhuman Farrell does not have those average sweat glands, however. No, he has two, located in the middle of his forehead, one above each eyebrow where it arches.
And he doesn't get slightly moist, or dewy, or glisten like a morning rose, but those two little holes POUR water, with the kind of water pressure you hope and pray your hotel shower will have.
Of course during an interview discussing the business of porn, obvious signs of sweat will make someone think you are nervous with something to hide, or paint you as a shifty character.
I couldn't let Farrell, Mr Peace & Love Everyone is Beautiful Hippy, come off as anything less than his upstanding self so I rushed in with the papertowels to dab his brow. Then again. And Again. And yeah, again.
A good employee will go over and beyond, and obviously Farrell is very lucky to have me!
*And if any of you start calling me Sweat-Rag Stef I will shank you.