Originally Posted by D

Growing up in Orlando, there's a rite of manhood called "Beers around the World," where one is expected to spend the day at Epcot Center on his 21st year, and throughout the course of the day, stop at every Pavilion, drink one beer at each, and then move on to the next.

For my rite, I went with a couple of friends (also 21) on one hot summer day, and we started in 'Canada' (ordered a Molson)... planning to make our way around the world. Our second stop was at the Rose & Crown Pub in the 'UK'... and I noticed that they sold beers not only by the pint, but by the half-yard, and full yard.

"We're tougher than your average Floridian," I said, "so I offer that at the end of the day - after we've downed a beer from every country - we come back here and cap it off by each downing a yard of Bass Ale!"

We were all young and invincible, so it sounded like a good idea at the time. My friends were in agreement.

The day was pretty hot - even for Florida, but we managed to make it through with only moderate booting... we hadn't yet learned the value of infusing lots of water on a hot day during which you're doing lots of drinking. In retrospect, I think it was this day that drilled the importance of that fact into my head.

The day was done. We had somehow stumbled our way around the Epcot Pavilion center, each a bit tipsy from the journey... and we found ourselves back at the Rose & Crown.

I felt it was time to request the bartender pour us each a yard of Ale, but my friends - all looking kinda worn at this point - wanted none of it.

"Bah," I said... and then asked to barkeep to pour me a full yard of Bass Ale.

I put the yard-glass to my lips, and started downing the glass... my friends stood up and started chanting "Chug... Chug... Chug..." and then those surrounding me did the same... in my drunken mind's eye the entire tavern was on their feet chanting 'Chug... Chug... Chug..." and I did. I started rotating the yard-glass right on time, and the bubble popped and spun down into my mouth... it was a perfect yard-glass chug execution... the tavern went wild...

And then I set down the yard-glass on my stool... for balance... a bit glossy-eyed, and I'm sure - though seemingly unnoticed by everyone around me - turning a shade of green.

The cheers died down, and everyone went back to their business... it was then that one of my friends noticed how I was looking...

"D... you ok?" he asked.

"Nope," I said... and then promptly filed the yard-glass back up with my own personal mixture of the day's fare.

But there was still more coming, and no where to put it.... so I cupped my hands hard over my mouth, and ran for the bathroom...

However the pressure that my diaphragm was exerting was too great... and the product that my body was pushing out found exit though the gaps between my fingers... spraying like a water-sprinkler as I ran through the crowd to the sanctity of the lavatory.

I spent some time in the bathroom... took my shirt off, and ran it under the faucet... there was vomit all over it.... people kept coming in and giving me that look that said, "wtf?"

I returned to the bar 10-or-so minutes later, noticing that the crowd had thinned a bit, sat down and ordered a pint of Bass.