Quote:
Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
As I was trying to say, no we didnt discuss it before, and yes I am willing to give up chicks while being with him. Its not the problem of me still wanting to be with chicks, i just want him to understand that i didnt consider that cheating at that time. Since I know now its cheating it wont happen again.
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Ah. I see what you mean. Personally, I think he should give you another chance. Your standards fell into a pattern from past relationships, and your own feelings, so you made a mistake that went outside his boundaries.
A big mistake, but not a malicious one... Hell, you told him, and were surprised by his response, so it wasn't exactly everyday cheating.
Here's the problem. Fair doesn't always come into it. He feels you cheated, and he probably feels it is a matter of morality, principle, and perhaps even something like pride. The fact that you did it may be enough to ruin things for him, trust-wise-- even if you never did it again.
Apologies and repentence, even reforming, don't undo what was done. I think he should try to forgive, but I can also see where he might be coming from if he didn't. My best advice to you is not to appriach this as "I didn't think it was wrong", but more "I did wrong without knowing, and now want to work things out so I can stay with you."
As a poly person, I know how hard it can be to make sure everyone is on the same page. However, since you have decided to take a somewhat poly path in life, I think you have a responsibility to communicate more than you did.