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Do you just want the flv player or a full site package?
Agriya FLV player/Rayzz (both made by the same company) seem to be pretty common among a lot of the adult youtube clones. There seem to be a fair few complaints among their forums, but it also seems like they fix things fairly quickly and release updates on a regular basis. I've never actually used it though, so I'm not sure.
If you're just looking for an flv player, there's a cheap one (free for noncommercial use, 15 euro for commercial) made by a guy named Jeroen Wijering (I still don't think I can post links yet, so just google that name. It's the first result).
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