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Dirty1 · 02-11-2003, 09:48 PM

You know you live in Chicago when:

You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Old Style"-no names, just beer signs out front.
You know "Windy City" is not a reference to the weather.
You thank Michael Jordan for helping people around the world to stop equating the city with Al Capone
It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you put it back on the sidewalk you will be shot on sight.
When the city that works doesn't work, and you sadly say that it wouldn't be like that "if The Mayor were still alive"
You live two miles from work and it takes an hour to drive there.
You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway.
You have trouble pronouncing "th" words-"dis, dat"
You've played 16-inch softball.
You automatically slip into a dreamy nostalgic haze upon hearing the names Royko, Ditka, or Payton.
When you were walking to work last summer, you ran into a cow.
You've tried several times to identify the Picasso sculpture in Daley Plaza-and have decided it's just a big baboon.
When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
You don't wonder why they named a stadium after gum.
You think anything south of I-80 is Southern Illinois.
You're not sure what state Carbondale is in.
Sausage is pronounced "SAH - SAGE," not "SAW - SAGE"
You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"
You recognize all the street signs and El stops in "High Fidelity."
You know what Steve Kerr and John Paxson have in common.
You're still excited about the Lower Wacker shortcut.
You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on-or vice versa.
You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
You know the significance of State and Madison.
You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a head sock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
You knew what a "Shawon-O-Meter" was for.
You can decipher a WMAQ traffic report, but your out of town passenger thinks it's just jibberish.
You have fond memories of radio stations with 3-letter call signs.
You learned your interstate highways by name and not the number.
Driving under an "Oasis" doesn't seem unusual to you.
When the visiting team hits a ball out of the park you expect to see it sail back in moments later.
You can finish this phrase: five eight eight
Grocery stores are the only type of retail entity that get a definite article: "I'm going to The Jewel" or "I'll stop by The Dominick's on the way home."
You give driving distances in minutes or blocks, never in miles.
You can tell within minutes of meeting someone if they're probably a Cubs fan or a Sox fan.
You know what "a beef" is...even better, a combo.
You've had a Polish on Maxwell.
You would never ruin a good hot dog by putting ketchup on it.

02-11-2003, 09:48 PM
Dirty1 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: New Orleans Posts: 138	You know you live in Chicago when: You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Old Style"-no names, just beer signs out front. You know "Windy City" is not a reference to the weather. You thank Michael Jordan for helping people around the world to stop equating the city with Al Capone It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you put it back on the sidewalk you will be shot on sight. When the city that works doesn't work, and you sadly say that it wouldn't be like that "if The Mayor were still alive" You live two miles from work and it takes an hour to drive there. You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway. You have trouble pronouncing "th" words-"dis, dat" You've played 16-inch softball. You automatically slip into a dreamy nostalgic haze upon hearing the names Royko, Ditka, or Payton. When you were walking to work last summer, you ran into a cow. You've tried several times to identify the Picasso sculpture in Daley Plaza-and have decided it's just a big baboon. When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know." You don't wonder why they named a stadium after gum. You think anything south of I-80 is Southern Illinois. You're not sure what state Carbondale is in. Sausage is pronounced "SAH - SAGE," not "SAW - SAGE" You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate. You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes." You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts" You recognize all the street signs and El stops in "High Fidelity." You know what Steve Kerr and John Paxson have in common. You're still excited about the Lower Wacker shortcut. You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on-or vice versa. You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path. You know the significance of State and Madison. You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant. You don't miss Planet Hollywood. You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a head sock with one hole in it, in public from November through March. You knew what a "Shawon-O-Meter" was for. You can decipher a WMAQ traffic report, but your out of town passenger thinks it's just jibberish. You have fond memories of radio stations with 3-letter call signs. You learned your interstate highways by name and not the number. Driving under an "Oasis" doesn't seem unusual to you. When the visiting team hits a ball out of the park you expect to see it sail back in moments later. You can finish this phrase: five eight eight Grocery stores are the only type of retail entity that get a definite article: "I'm going to The Jewel" or "I'll stop by The Dominick's on the way home." You give driving distances in minutes or blocks, never in miles. You can tell within minutes of meeting someone if they're probably a Cubs fan or a Sox fan. You know what "a beef" is...even better, a combo. You've had a Polish on Maxwell. You would never ruin a good hot dog by putting ketchup on it.