Please foward the following facts to the FBI.
Facts :
Upon entering the neighborhood dive/convenient store Sortie fell into a
hypnotic state after seeing the suttle, yet evil artwork on a
Schlitz High Gravity can strategically place next to the Red Bull.
It was the numbering on the can that captured the upmost attention as it
read "8.5% ALC/VOL". Never having seen such a thing before, curiosity
overcame Sortie so Sortie purchased two cans. But before leaving,
Sortie noticed a can of "Amour Chill with beans" for $1.49. Being "blown away" by this awesome price on some shit Sortie never ate before, it was purchased also. It is therefore totaly reasonable to rule out any "foul play"
as Sortie most likey suffered IES(internal explosive syndrome) as a simultaneous vomiting and colon splitting shit erupted.
Thanks ahead of time.
