Quote:
Originally Posted by chadknowslaw
For me it was the first week when my entire body was trembling and enduring excruciating pain from withdrawals. It felt like every inch of me was being squeezed by a vice grip and thinking about a beer or a shot made my mouth water. Then, after the DT's were over for me one of the other patients died going through it. It was at that point, seeing his body being taken away on the gurney that I realized how serious this was for me.
I make it a point to tell people I am an alcoholic. I know there is that "tradition" about anonymity, but there is also a benefit to knowing that there are people like me that were really, really, REALLY fucked up that were able to get sober and stay sober.
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Oh yeah.. the DT's. A pure delight. Went through those many many times when I drank hard liquor. But also had gotten to the point my body could not longer metabolize alcohol. So I would have to be cardioverted. When I would go through the 'withdrawl' period 12-18 hours later. My heart would flip into B-fib. Only way to fix it was cardioversion (i.e. hit you with the paddles to stop your heart, and then again, to bring you back. The theory you will start on the right rhythm).
Then I stopped drinking liquor, and was fine for a spell. But beer consumption got to the same point, and result. On the 13th time of doing the cardioversion, my sister and 6 month old niece showed up at the hospital. Every other time I had went through it alone, but this day my sister was home with baby.
So THIS TIME I had to look at the people my choices effected. Seeing the worry on my sister's face. Looking at my baby niece. Having to see the end result on others face-to-face was all it took.
After 10 years, I was done.
I did not do any rehab. Did it myself. For the first year I had to learn how to sleep, get over the social situations, and bars, weekends, etc. I had to learn how to deal with conflict, and depression. My body ached. They had told me it can take 6-9 months to get all of the alcohol out of your system because it's in your tissue, etc. That felt about right.
Around the 9 month mark I was much better. Feeling physically, and teaching myself how to deal with social, and emotional situations where I used to hide in a bottle at times.
Three years now, and feeling better. Dropped some weight, and working on getting rid of the rest through thread mill, and new Bowflex. Long go, but I remind myself it took 10 years to get tot this point, and it's going to take some time to get back in shape.
Bravo to you sire.