Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

How about this:

Dear ex-member:

Thank you for the business in the past, and we want you back! To show you how serious we are about winning you back, we've attached the actual names and home addresses or your closest neighbors, and everyone who has ever co-signed on a loan for you, granted you credit, given you a drivers license, or taught your children.

What do these people all have in common? They are the ones you wouldn't want to know what kind of porn you view, you sick fucker! What the fuck were you thinking when you gave us your name and home address? How stupid are you?

So please, lets work together to save the trees! You can make your donation to the "Don't tell my wife and neighbors" fund HERE.....