Originally Posted by Profits of Doom

There really is nothing in the world more humorous than a porn star's Myspace blog, and the ensuing ass kissing comments that follow. She could have wrote...

"Hey guys, today I was drunk driving and I bent over to do a line that I had cut up on my dashboard when suddenly an old lady with a walker crossing the street with her 5 year old granddaughter so rudely jumped out in front of my car. I smashed into them and the old geezer and the little brat went flying over the hood of my car and cracked and got blood all over my windshield. Don't these people know how hard I work for what I have? Then I realized my dealer gave me bad shit and it burned the back of my throat, which caused me to swerve and run head on into a pet store, killing a batch if newborn puppies. The pet store owner's were soooo rude and called me a whore. Why do they have to be so judgmental? Don't they know the sacrifices I make for my art? I know you guys understand and I love you and thank you for all your support!"

To which she will get hundreds of replies, all saying some variation of...

"Fuck those bastards. They don't know the real you like we do. That old bag and her dirty kid should watch where the fuck they are going. And who the fuck keeps newborn puppies so close to the front of the store? We love you and got your back! My number is 555-1212. Please call me! I'll take you away from all of this!!!"

Pure comedy...