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ha ha ha ha ha.. god.. yes.. perl will let you be a lazy programmer... but if you have problems with the way php handles variables you're going to just love perl and all the additional confusion it can lead to if you don't know what you're doing...
I use php for webpage stuff and perl for server cron tasks, large text file work etc. I don't think there's any way to encrypt perl but I haven't looked into that for years now.
I've never seen perl NOT come installed on a server.. but there's so many modules for things available that if you want something special, it might need to be installed.
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