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Count me in the running.
Here's why:
1) I'm hung like a can of Pringles.
2) I don't sleep around.
3) I can give great advice and I'd pay good money to whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
4) I'm Omnipresent (which was really Jenndarrrrrrrlings idea in the first place - got to give proper credit!)
5) I can properly shade her - I used to live in Arizona so I can handle the heat!
6) I don't believe in man love.
7) I don't have herpes.
8) I can stand a good whipping.
9) I won't fondle her. Unless she wants me to.
10) I don't drool. Well, most of the time.
Etc etc.
Now... who do I have to fuck to get this gig?
If not BOB from Lightspeed Cash will be sure to be around. He's not hung like a can of pringles but he has huge balls. He might make a good back up plan.
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