Dear Steve,
I felt so horribly awful for you that I had to read this post out loud to my boyfriend, and we've decided to sell everything we have so that we can paypal you the earnings. I hope that our meagre contribution might aid in your quest and perhaps provide you with the luxurious trappings which you so surely deserve.
Please, no need for public thanks, but were you to send traffic to my site, I would have more money in my coiffers in order to donate it to you. *points to her head whispering the word genius*
;)
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