1) When I was 11 and 12, I had a fully developed 16 year old smoking hot-as-hell Italian girlfriend who would sleep over with me almost every weekend. How could that be possible you ask? Well, at birth there was a terrible accident resulting in oxygen being cut off to her brain thus leaving her with the mentality of a 9 year old.
2) When I directed my first film, Alternative Worldz: Atlanta, I had NEVER directed a movie before. I had NO prior movie making experience, had never been on a set, had never seen people outside of myself (and a girl if I was REALLY lucky) having sex. In fact, I had no fucking idea what was going on! When I ran out of money, my good friend put me up in her Bordello for 6 months.
3) I grew up in a trailer park in Wilson, NC which is both the Tobacco capital of the world and the poor white trash capital of North Carolina!
4) I only got drunk once, but it lasted for 17 years. I went to University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, but I've forgotten virtually EVERYTHING I ever learned. If my writing is grammatically incorrect OR incoherent, now you know why.
5) At 6, I had my first crush on Jeannie from "I Dream of Jeannie". As drunken adults would re-enact scenes from Roadhouse, I would pull the covers over my eyes and pretend I was safe with Jeannie in her phat-assed plush bottle. Then I would drift off to sleep as I pretended I was nestling my head on those phat-assed breasts. Sometimes I still do that, but now without the drunk adults, I own the redecorated bottle and Lacie Heart is Jeannie
I've been planning a movie based on this, but you can only imagine the tears that ran down my chubby cheeks when I discovered that my movie title had already been used!
6) I try to get EVERY girl I ever work with to have a real on screen big-assed orgasm. This can be witnessed in Atomic Vixens: Escape from the Valley of the Sluts as Justine Joli and Marie Luv launch off some pretty impressive O's. Hailey Young erupting some love lava is also a site to behold!
7) I am a "vegeterrorist? and have been meat free for over 12 years.
8) I have never been arrested, but I have been detained.
9) I have bedded 2 Governor's daughters as well as the daughter of a very famous celebrity.
10) I am a very happy person and very rarely get bummed out by anything.
