Originally Posted by Sands

I have a better plan...

First, we get a bunch of those plastic knives, you know, just in case there are metal detectors. Then we get a dog. Not like some Lassie motherfucker, but an old hound dog with one leg, one eye, and half of its tail missing. With duct tape, we attach those plastic knives to the dog so it's like a one-eyed, three-legged porcupine of fucking doom! Next, we need a car. Something sporty, but practical. Like a '99 Chevy Cavalier, but with rims nigga because when we're at a stop light it should look like we're still rolling. Chickenheads love that shit! Ok, so anyway, next we need to get rubber bands and paper clips. MacGuyver always had that shit laying around he was making atomic bombs with them. Now we tie up all those rubber-band together to make one giant band, and weld the paper clips together to make a big Y-shaped structure that we attach the giant rubber band to, effectively creating a giant slingshot. We put the porcupine pooch into that bitch, and using the car to pull the band back as far as it can go, we launch that kooky canine at Steve Johnson's house because that cocksucker used to call me "Fatty McButterpants" in high school. That'll teach those tube sites.