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First of all, you can't stand too close because it makes you look like you're trying to hide and must have a tiny thing. Secondly, if someone looks at your junk, say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY JUNK FOR, STUPID?! really very loudly. Third and last would be to not ever be ashamed of making a whole lot of noise when you piss if you're a man.
Me, I am not anywhere near as crude and disgusting as a normal man... For example I don't make loud fart noises or think shit is cool but I do like to piss loud like a channelled waterfall.
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