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Old 10-25-2008, 07:48 AM  
Barefootsies
Choice is an Illusion
 
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy View Post
What finally made you decide to get help? What was the catalyst leading to the decision that it was time for things to change?
I did not go to rehab, but I did seek counseling.

I drank and chewed for the better part of 8-10 years. From the time I transferred to a four year school, until I started my own production company full time.

When I started, it was because I could not sleep at night. So a little 'drinkie' and I could pass out, and sleep. For some reason, just being away at college was like that. Before long, I was going to the clubs, and frat parties, and it went from 2 nights a week, to 3, to 5, until it was a never ending party. I then would be sick in the morning, and need a 'nip' to take the edge off.

Over time, I was drinking a 1/5 of J.D. a day. I was sneaking into work in grape juice, and drinking on lunch if I did not do that. I would get DT's and real bad withdrawals and shit. At some point I would have to dry out, and it would take 3-5 days to dry out from hard liquor, and 2-3 just from a beer bender.

Anyways, long story short, it had gotten to the point my body could not longer metabolize alcohol. So when I would be coming down from the bender, my heart would go into B-fib, and I would have to go to the hospital. The only way it would go back to a normal rhythm was being cardio-verted.

That is where they stop, and restart your heart, and you in theory start on a normal rhythm. Anyways, my cardiologist would keep seeing me in there every few months, and would tell me what I had was 'holiday heart'. Stop drinking whiskey, and hard liquor and I would stop coming in there.

So I did eventually, but after a year or two, even beer would cause me the same thing. I would have to go in and be cardio-verted after the bender. But now to your question as to what had got me to stop....

The first 12 times I went through that shit over the course of 4-5 years I would never call anyone and tell them I was at the hospital. I would sign my form releasing the hospital from liability, and then get the electric chair and go home and sleep for a few days.

On the 13th time, my sister was home. She was home with my newborn niece who was a few months old, and sick. So the hospital called her, and she showed up. While I waited for the cardio-version, and she talked to the doctor and shit. It was the first time I had to think about not being there for my new niece. It was the first time I had to look at the fear and concern in my sister's face.....

I have never had a drink since.

That was 3-4 years ago.
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