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SteveLightspeed · 10-30-2008, 03:22 PM

My penis lies to me every time I pee. It SAYS it’s done, when it's NOT! I can imagine it whispering to my testicles, "Dudes, watch this AWESOME PRANK I'm about to play! As soon as he zips up and walks away, BAM!!! Hello "Mr Wet Spot"! HAHAHAHAHA!

And I fall for it EVERY TIME. “Oh, you got me AGAIN! That's so.... um... funny."
Yeah, my prick is a fucking COMEDIAN.

So last night, I went to the restroom right before I was supposed to go on stage to do my routine. But the damn door lock got stuck, so I was locked in the bathroom and starting to panick. I was supposed to already be in the wings waiting for my introduction. So I'm struggling with the lock, trying to unjam it. Now I'm freaking out. With all my effort, I forced open the lock. And at the same moment, BAM! My "comedian penis" decides to tell another "joke".

I open the door and realize they are announcing me RIGHT NOW and I have to run straight on stage. So as I’m running to the stage, BAM!!! OMG Not again!!! Oh yeah, AGAIN. I’m sure my balls are high-fiving each other over the hilarity going on in my pants.

So I'm doing my set, and I can feel pee running down my leg. It’s damn hard to tell jokes when your shoes are filled with urine. They never covered anything like this in comedy class! Like “Lesson 16, What to Do When You Accidently Wet Your Pants On Stage”.

Anyway, whether my jokes are funny or not, I've decided to go out ON TOP, and retire while I can still hear my audience laughing.

10-30-2008, 03:22 PM
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	The END of my STAND UP COMEDY career My penis lies to me every time I pee. It SAYS it’s done, when it's NOT! I can imagine it whispering to my testicles, "Dudes, watch this AWESOME PRANK I'm about to play! As soon as he zips up and walks away, BAM!!! Hello "Mr Wet Spot"! HAHAHAHAHA! And I fall for it EVERY TIME. “Oh, you got me AGAIN! That's so.... um... funny." Yeah, my prick is a fucking COMEDIAN. So last night, I went to the restroom right before I was supposed to go on stage to do my routine. But the damn door lock got stuck, so I was locked in the bathroom and starting to panick. I was supposed to already be in the wings waiting for my introduction. So I'm struggling with the lock, trying to unjam it. Now I'm freaking out. With all my effort, I forced open the lock. And at the same moment, BAM! My "comedian penis" decides to tell another "joke". I open the door and realize they are announcing me RIGHT NOW and I have to run straight on stage. So as I’m running to the stage, BAM!!! OMG Not again!!! Oh yeah, AGAIN. I’m sure my balls are high-fiving each other over the hilarity going on in my pants. So I'm doing my set, and I can feel pee running down my leg. It’s damn hard to tell jokes when your shoes are filled with urine. They never covered anything like this in comedy class! Like “Lesson 16, What to Do When You Accidently Wet Your Pants On Stage”. Anyway, whether my jokes are funny or not, I've decided to go out ON TOP, and retire while I can still hear my audience laughing.