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I had a recent experience with installing Phantom Frog on a lighttpd server. With some help from the lightttpd server tech we succeeded but it took some tweaking of lighttpd to do standard things that 3rd party software uses commonly on apache servers. This suggests that apache may offer you more options for 3rd party software.
I understand that YouTube uses lighttpd, but they have an army programmers to make it work. Unless you have a HUGE operation, adding more RAM to an apache server would eliminate performance advantages lighttpd offers.
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