Originally Posted by sexandcash

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. The vodka you drank all night has turned to formaldehyde in your system and the vapours are seeping out of every pore in your body making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is swollen and suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the strange looking one legged person was passed out on your bed next to you this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass and even the splash of water touching you is painful. You feel as though you may have internal bleeding. Death sounds pretty good right about now.