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Kre8t0r · 02-09-2009, 09:46 AM

This was posted in the craigs list personals section...
I had tears in my eyes reading this I was laughing so hard! Karma at its finest right there! Enjoy!

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me (Downtown,Savannah )

Replyto: ************ [?]
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I handover shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also askedfor my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across thismessage. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took myjacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and itwasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought methat Colt 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up ashoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a veryintimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wh erever you'dcome from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it waseven worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and walletwith me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help youtry to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. Ialso bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of thehomeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in yourwallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your billin case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, andI've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what'sgoing on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I wasabout to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did thiswhole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sureyou've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like toreimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use,and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you andinstead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'llreconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. Ifyou read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

-Never a victim...

02-09-2009, 09:46 AM
Kre8t0r Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: From Hurricane Hell to Frozen Hell Posts: 1,304	Posted on CR This was posted in the craigs list personals section... I had tears in my eyes reading this I was laughing so hard! Karma at its finest right there! Enjoy! To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me (Downtown,Savannah ) Replyto: ************ [?] Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I handover shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also askedfor my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across thismessage. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took myjacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and itwasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought methat Colt 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up ashoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a veryintimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wh erever you'dcome from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it waseven worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and walletwith me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help youtry to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. Ialso bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of thehomeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in yourwallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your billin case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, andI've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what'sgoing on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I wasabout to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did thiswhole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sureyou've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like toreimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use,and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you andinstead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'llreconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. Ifyou read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! -Never a victim...