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I've found that some kids/people have worse symptoms of depression and unhappiness when they explore their "artistic" side more. I know that I was an emo kid with a TON of teasing. As a teen I was a "mathlete", obese, cross eyed, and a geek on the PC.... God bless surgery and exercise, lol... but I know horrors... and do you know what made those horrors worse?
Journaling about it. Writing about it. Concentrating on it.
I mean in general.. other than other kid bullying... I had a great childhood. No real, physical abuse. Stable, educated, working parents....
Giving weight to the dark feelings with journals and artistic expression made it WORSE...
The day I threw out my journals... the day that I stopped trying to be all artsy fartsy with my feelings... things got a lot better.
When I was younger, I would scrape. I could never full blown cut. Ever. I would just scrape. And then I'd think, "My god, I'm a pussy..." and feel bad for it. Then Id think about ending it...
Once I became an adult... and within the last probably, year or two... I've discovered completely that my emotional outbursts and "low" periods are completely as a result of my hormones being imbalanced.
I think families and counselors focus far too much on "talking it out..."
When most times.. the "talking it out" makes it worse. It allows the child (or adult) to validate the feelings... or to wallow.. or to have self pity... I've also noticed that the parents of people who are usually suicidal are either minus emotion.... or completely emo themselves... No balanced center...
Now that my hormones are completely square... I'm completely cool... but the minute that I forget to take my birth control.. or thyroid... I crash horribly... but it's to the point where you get used to it... I can feel the crash happen and prepare myself mentally.. I don't just crash.... grab a journal.. and go all woe is me... I stop. tell myself that I am OKAY... and become self aware that I''m going to be feeling a little bit blue.
In short, after my ginormous novel, I think a lot of suicidal feelings and tendencies are blown up as a result of counselors, journals and validating those feelings... when in most cases it's just an imbalance....
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