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Gather 'round, all ye whorey!
Gather 'round and hear my story!
When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,
And the tip of his prick turns blue,
Far from a life of Yukon strife,
He can tell you a tale or two.
So pull up a chair, and stand me a drink,
And a tale to you I will tell,
About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete,
And a harlot named Eskimo Nell.
When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Go forth in search of fun,
It's Dead-Eye Dick that swings the prick,
And Mexican Pete the gun.
When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Are sore, depressed and sad,
It's always a cunt that bears the brunt,
But the shooting's not so bad
Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,
And such was their luck that they'd had no fuck
For nigh on half a week.
Oh, a moose or two, and a caribou,
And a bison cow or sow,
But for Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,
This fucking was mighty slow.
Dick pound on his cock with a huge piece of rock
And said, "I want to play!"
It's been almost a week at this fucking creek,
With no cunt coming my way.
So, do or dare, this horny pair
Set off for the Rio Grand.
Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,
And Pete with his gun in hand.
Then as they blazed their noisy trail,
No man, their path withstood.
Many a bride, her husbands pride,
A pregnant widow stood.
When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,
And the tip of his prick turns blue,
And the hole in the middle refuses to piddle,
I'd say he was fucked, wouldn't you?
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