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From the looks of the query log, you need to index some of those tables a little better.
If those select queries are using the filesystem, it's probably because of a lack of index.
You need to run an EXPLAIN query.
Put "EXPLAIN" in front of one of the lagging queries, ie:
EXPLAIN SELECT m.* , data_age, data_height, data_weight, data_sexually, data_seekingage_from, data_seekingag..........
This will break down the joins, subqueries, etc, and will show you exactly which relationship / index is using the file system. From there, make sure it's indexed, and you'll probably be ok.
If not, you'll need to rewrite the query a little more efficiently.
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