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I'm a very open minded female...
I'm also way uber empathetic... and I hear this shit and just feel bad for you.
I'm sorry.
There's a certain level of musicality to it.. but in combination with all your threads AND the music.. you remind me of that little fat girl in high school who always had to tell you why she was special.... then when you'd try to talk to her one on one.. it was one sob story after another about why she hated her life...
I mean, it's great you found an outlet.. but I think you need help channeling your thoughts better than with artistic expression.
Sometimes doing the artsy fartsy stuff.. and living in he "dark world" can make mental illness worse.
Go get a regular 9-5. Drive a shitty car. Work out at the gym. Embrace a hard, normal, non artistic life for a while...
and take your meds.
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