Originally Posted by bronco67

This guy named Jeff walked outside one hot August night to throw away a pizza box. There was raccoon by the dumpster, and he said to Jeff " Hey Jeff, don't throw away that pizza box."

"why not?" Jeff asked the raccoon.

"For each piece of crust you have, I'll grant you a wish." said the raccoon. Jeff peeked inside the box and saw that there were three pieces of crust.

Jeff contemplated what the raccoon said for a moment. My wife is sick with Leukemia, he thought. I'm also late with my car payment and I'm bald. I can ask the raccoon to cure my wife's illness, so we can live the rest of our lives together. Then after that, I'll ask for 250 dollars so I can make my car payment. Then I'll wish for my hair back, so my wife will want to have sex with me after she gets out of the hospital. Jeff said "Okay, Mr Raccoon. I know what I want ---"

just then, the raccoon leaped onto Jeff's face and clawed him mercilessly until his eyeballs became a pulpy jelly. Then he took the pizza crust and ran.

the end.