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- join Jeopardy as one of the contestants
- have his own Shopping Network Show entitled "Shopping With A Million Dollars"
- adopt an African child (but instead of Africa, adopt a New Orleans orphan)
- appear regularly in Hugh Hefner's parties
- try modulating his voice into a baritone
- make a video "I f**ked Ben Affleck AND Matt Damon"
- hawk his bobbing head doll in QVC and the Home Shopping Network
- record a threeway with FEMALE prostitutes then upload it in Xtube.com
- appear in other people's work like Lordi, Death Cab for Cutie and High School Musical albums in no particular order.
- appear in fashion shows with Sarah Jessica Parker
- appear as a judge in "America's Top Model" then make a hissy fit and have a fistfight with Tyra Banks
- impregnate Tyra
- impregnate Heidi Montague
- impregnate Oprah
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