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Originally Posted by CDSmith
And the really interesting thing is that every couple I've ever known that did the open marriage or swinger lifestyle are all broken up, every one of them. Several of them due to crossing of lines or breaking of rules, all of it boils down to trust issues. Sorry, the picture perfect ideal permissive picture you're attempting to paint has major flaws.
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In your circle, that is...
Perhaps they weren't swingers in the true sense of the word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith
And just because someone promotes adult, that doesn't automatically mean they must adopt a lifestyle that reflects what they promote. I promote about two dozen fairly kinky fetishes that I myself have zero interest in trying much less becoming.
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Point taken, but subconsciously there has to be some level of acceptance and awareness of the effects involving that which you promote.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith
But maybe there is some hypocrisy there, I don't know. But in this one instance I don't really care. I can promote all manner of lewdness and loose morals but in my private life I'm a one-woman kind of guy who prefers a woman I can trust. If one guy isn't enough for her she's free to get lost and find a guy who doesn't mind other guys pounding his woman.
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Which is fine, but nonetheless is a very puritanical point of view.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith
By the way those open marriage/swinger people I mentioned I've known seem just as insecure as anyone, in some cases moreso. Several struck me as incredibly selfish as well. No thanks.
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As said previously, the persons of which you speak may have partaken in the swinger experience, but perhaps were not truly committed to each other.
There are many persons who attempt to live the lifestyle, but do so without comprehending exactly what it is they are participating in. Oftentimes one partner may simply go along for the ride out of obligation, or one of the parties comes to a realization that the connection they thought that they were a part of was not fully intact. Also bear in mind that relationships in these times can break down for any number of reasons, especially as a vast majority of persons walking this planet are not self-aware. They have a hard enough time coping with one partner, much less multiple ones.
So in truth I'm not painting a perfect permissive picture, because anyone who is worth their salt knows that any relationship with another person involves a completely different set of dimensions to process. It isn't easy, but when persons do find someone that they can share
anything regarding their existence with, that is something to be cherished and respected. That is what many people deep down wish that they had but never get a chance to experience.