I spent ages trying to choose one and eventually decided to try the Nubiles one as it's free and quite a few people have recommended it.
There's a few things that I've found awkward about it but I've pretty much got it sussed now and generally it's doing the job just fine. Customising isn't too difficult once you figure out how that side of it works. It allows users to sign up, add favourites, etc - but it doesn't seem to allow user uploads, which is a good thing for me as I only want to use hosted vids from sponsors. Importing them via XML has been pretty straight-forward.
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