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Personal favorites:
"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."
"I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over."
"You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit."
(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."
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