czarina

Please note that I am an Obama supporter... but this is too funny and couldn't let it pass. Read on:

Dear Citizens,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the
slowdown in the economy, I have decided to implement
a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above
on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After
Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed
under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early
Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half
Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will
receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training)
as possible. I have always prided myself on
the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT,
please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who
has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can
handle.

Sincerely,

President Obama


PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost
of electricity, gas and oil, the Light at the End of
the Tunnel has been turned off.